Last Train of Thought
by ebullience-JJ
Summary: Just like a train, memories rolled on by as Yondaime walked towards his inevitable end. R&R please!


Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto.

Written by ebullience-JJ and beta-ed by an-sama.

Last Train of Thought

He'd mastered hundreds of jutsus, fought in all of the wars, killed countless enemies, chosen future ninjas, protected the village with his life, and many more. Of all the tasks he'd carried out, however, Yondaime found only one of them quite as challenging, and it had absolutely nothing to do with being a kage.  
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_"You are being hasty and foolish." Sarutobi looked at his predecessor with knowing eyes._

_"I know."_

_The Fourth smiled sadly. Like any old man, the Third should be resting in his house and wondering what games to play with future grandchildren. He knew he was responsible for cutting the ex-hokage's retirement short.  
_----------  
The Fourth Hokage watched as another Chuunin fell. Cries of distress and anguish mixed with the clashing of kunais and the icy sound of shurikens whizzing through the air. Occasionally, explosive notes detonating could be heard in the distance. Gray clouds obscured the moon. The only source of light was from the stars, bright against the dark sky.

Yondaime kept walking, holding the small bundle close to his chest.  
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_"Sensei! Kakashi and Obito are fighting again!" Rin ran to the young Jounin, tired and frustrated. Her eyes glared at him, silently shouting at him, "Take some responsibility!"_

_The man smiled and patted her gently on the head. "Don't worry. That's just their way of expressing their friendship toward each other."_

_"I'll kill you!"_

_"Pfft. I'd like to see you try."_

_Rin placed her hands on her hips and looked at her sensei expectantly. "You were saying?"_

_The Fourth Hokage couldn't help but laugh as Obito lunged towards Kakashi, yellingout a colourful string of curses, while Rin ran back to them, carrying bandages.  
_----------  
Sun-kissed locks stood out in the darkness of the forest. The once-bright cerulean eyes appeared dull and dead, almost lifeless. The bright smile that had once rivaled the summer sun was replaced with frown.

A small cry came from the bundle he was holding. Yondaime patted it, whispering quiet words of comfort. He knew that what he was about to do was both an act of bravery and, at the same time, a sin.  
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_"You should have been the hokage."_

_Jiraiya snorted at his student and went back to writing, secretly red as a tomato._

_"No, seriously. You're far more suited for the job than me, being one of the Sannin and all. Why not?" The blonde only received a perverted giggle in reply. He glared at the white-haired ninja. "What? You don't like the idea of being a hokage because it would disrupt that stupid perverted project of yours!"_

_The Sannin slammed his hands down on the table and glowered at his most prized student. "It is not stupid!"_

_"Are you kidding? This is one of the reasons why Tsunade-baa-chan beats you up!"_

_The two glared at each other and left in opposite directions._

_Later that day, Yondaime found his view of the Hokage Monument obstructed by a popsicle. He looked up to see his sensei avoiding his gaze and took the cold refreshment happily. "But you know, ramen would be better on this kind of day."_

_"Don't you dare start talking about ramen."  
_----------  
Yondaime's paced slowed down. Each step he took seemed almost hesitant, but he continued on. He gently rocked the bundle back and forth. He whispered descriptions of the gentle woman who should have been the one cradling the child. He looked down at the bundle and saw tufts of blonde hair like his own. Blue eyes stared back at him curiously, as if comforted by the descriptions of his mother. Somehow, even though the child was a splitting image of him, he found that the infant reminded him of her.  
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_"Save your energy."_

_The young woman forced a tired smile. "What does he look like?"_

_"Exactly like his father," replied the nurse, playing with the baby._

_"Hopefully, the looks are the only characteristics he inherits from his father. If he gets anything else, then I'm really going to feel sorry for the academy teachers." Her soft laughter was stopped by a coughing fit._

_The Fourth clutched her hand. "What should we name him?"_

_The woman gave a thoughtful smile. "Naruto."_

_"Is that a joke?" He didn't receive a reply._

_That afternoon, despite the staff's protests, he took the baby with him from the hospital.  
_----------  
The boy was far too quiet, especially for a newborn. Yondaime looked up and stared at the gruesome scene before him. The Kyuubi stomped on another Jounin and swung its massive tail, destroying everything in its path.

"Hokage-sama!" A Jounin ran to him, covered in sweat and blood, eyes full of concern and fear. "The Kyuubi is closing in on the village! It will soon reach the wall! What should we do!" The hokage remained quiet, and for once the Jounin noticed the tired lines on the hokage's face. His eyes traveled to the bundle the hokage was carrying. "What...?"

"You have kids, don't you, Muradame-san?"

"Huh? Ahh... Well, yes, two boys. But Hokage-sama, we must concentrate on the Kyuubi! If we don't, then..." The Jounin trailed off as he suddenly realized what could happen to his sons.

Yondaime smiled sadly at him. "You're a good father. Those boys of yours are lucky to have you." With that he walked on, leaving behind a very flustered Jounin.  
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_"What the hell do you think you're doing!"_

_The Fourth skidded into a halt and turned. He was greeted by a tired Jiraiya, who was drawing ragged breaths and holding onto a railing to steady himself. The blonde stared at his white-haired sensei. Getting straight to the point, he spoke. "I'm going to stop the Kyuubi."_

_"I'm not an idiot! Of course I know that! But the way you plan on doing it is just plain wrong! Old man Sarutobi just told me about the jutsu you created. You've got to stop this insanity!" Jiraiya spat and marched in front of his student, grabbing him by the shoulders. "Have you got any idea of the consequences, you idiot! Even if your last wish is for him to be a hero, do you really think the people will accept him!"_

_"The village looks real nice during dawn and sunset."_

_He blinked. "What!"_

_Yondaime looked sideways, towards the village. "When the light touches everything, even though the trees block some of the rays, the whole village looks beautiful. Early in the morning, just past dawn, the kids run really fast towards the academy ready to learn how to be a ninja. In the evening, when the sky has an orangey pink tinge to it, the ninjas come back home, welcomed by their families. Their laughter and happy voices are carried by the air. I can hear them all the way from my office."_

_Jiraiya released his fierce grip on his student and sighed. "Listen, I'm sorry about your wife, I really am. But your son! He's the only thing she left behind for you!"_

_Yondaime sighed to himself and looked down at the sleeping infant in his arms. "You still don't get it. As the hokage, I can't go to another family and ask them to sacrifice their child. I just can't do that."_

_"When the kid finds out what you've done, he's definitely going to have quite a reaction."_

_Another sad smiled etched itself in the young man's face. "I can only hope that he won't stay mad at me forever"  
_----------  
"Hey, you sure you wanna do this?"

"I've already made up my mind, Gamabunta."

The boss of the toads stared at the Kyuubi. "Funny, that kid of yours isn't crying, even with all this hellish noise."

"Yeah, it's odd. I have absolutely no experience with babies, but I'm pretty sure they cry a lot when they're just born. Ah, well. I'll be performing the Shiki Fūjin. Brace yourself, Gamabunta.  
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"I'll be going now."

"Ahhhhh..." Yondaime coughed up more blood and smiled weakly. "I suppose this is the last time we'll be seeing each other, old friend."

"It'll be funny if that brat of yours rides on my head when he grows up," Gamabunta looked at the bloody Yondaime and disappeared.

"Yeah, you'd definitely boss him around like a slave," the Fourth turned to his son. Those blue eyes stared at him, wide with curiosity. To his surprise, the kid touched his face with those little hands and, for the first time that day, Yondaime was happy. "Despite what people say, I'm really selfish. Wanting to be with my wife and leaving everything behind. As the hokage, your mom's life was in trouble, so everything was kept secret. I didn't even have time to return back the love she has given me. I hope you forgive me for what I've done to you."

Yondaime's vision blurred. The last thing he saw was his son's eyes tearing up.  
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"He was a normal man who wanted the best for his family in the end."

"You left me, too, huh, sensei? ... Say hi to Rin and Obito for me."

"Kid, I'm gonna miss your pranks."

"Thank you, Hokage-sama."  
----------  
As if sensing what had happened to his father, a sharp wail pierced through the night.


End file.
